Tell me a joke, win a CD
Jul 02
I’ve got a couple of “go-to” jokes that I use pretty often.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Call it whatever you want. He’s not coming.
I’ve got others, but those are my favorite.
Now it’s your turn. What’s your “go-to” joke. The one I like best wins a signed copy of the new Eric Peters CD, “Birds of Relocation.” And trust me- you want to win this prize. It’s really good. I’ll pick a winner before the week is over.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool?
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of a door?
Matt
In a pot? Stu.
In the bushes? Russel.
On the wall? Art.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
What is the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird!!!
Why did the pig go to the kitchen?
Because he felt like bacon.
I really want to see a fly “bird”
“where are pies weighed?”
“somewhere over the rainbow” …pause for effect and then belt out “Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie!”
One blonde yelled over the raging river to another blonde “How do you get to the other side?”. The other blonde yelled back ” You are on the other side!”.
Ed
Where does Okra grow?
Okrahoma!!
What’s green, has wheels and grows?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
When I visited Paris, France some friends and I decided to get breakfast at a little restaurant near the Eiffel Tower. I was feeling hungry, so I order a two-egg omelet, but when the waiter brought it over I noticed it was only a one-egg omelet. I turned to the waiter and said, “Excuse me sir I ordered a two-egg omelet, this is only a one-egg omelet.” He said “That’s because one egg is “un oeuf”!”
haha… well maybe this joke does better in Canada, but if the crowd you are around a little french knowledge they will know “un oeuf” sounds likes “enough” lol
How do you say “Good one” in French-Canadian?
You have a few options, “bien fait” (byen-fay) is probably the closest though haha
This is Sara from Fuego, stopping by to say it was…interesting…getting to know you. No, really, it was truly a pleasure.
As for jokes, I don’t have any. I went on a blind date and he was telling me about how he was in a quartet so I asked him, “Oh, how many people are in it?” He didn’t laugh. So I think I deserve some kind of pick-me-up for being exceptionally unfunny…and single.
An A, C, and E walk into a bar. The bar tender looks at the C and says, “Hey pal, we don’t serve minors.” So he left and the A and E had a fifth between them.
That’s my favorite joke of all time.
Very nice, though I feel like there’s a very specific audience who would get it.
There is a lady walking down the street with a duck under her arm, a man walks up and says, that’s a funny looking pig you have. The lady says, it’s not a pig, it’s a duck. The man responds, I was talking to the duck.
what’s the difference between a crappy golfer and a crappy skydiver?
one of them goes “whack, dang” the other goes “dang, whack”
You: Knock. Knock.
Them: Who’s there?
You: Impatient cow.
Them: Impa…
You: MOOOO!