Chasing squirrels and dreams

When I was a teenager, my friends and I would go golfing a lot over the summer. None of us were very good, but we loved playing.

And part of what made it so fun was all the “extra” games we’d play while we were on the course. Stuff like:

• If your drive doesn’t go past the ladies tee, you have to play that hole in your underwear.
• Sometimes we’d play an entire hole with just our putters.
• When someone is about to hit, throw something large at their ball during their backswing. (Not really a game, but hilarious, nonetheless.)

Oh- and also, we chased squirrels.

And that’s not code for something else. Either on foot, or in the golf cart, if we saw a squirrel, we chased it. We never really talked about what we’d do if we ever caught one, but I guess we would’ve crossed that bridge had we ever gotten our hands on one.

“I got it! Oh crap! Now what?!?!”

We never caught one. They’d run up a tree, jump into a row of bushes, hop over a creek and leave us in their tiny little clouds of dust. But it didn’t stop us.

We chased so many squirrels.

We also saw a lot of other people on the course over the years who didn’t chase squirrels. I don’t know what their problem was. We’d be running after the little rodents, waving our nine irons like madmen, while those stodgy old farts on the next fairway just stood there shaking their heads at us.

But here’s what I know- even though we never caught a squirrel, we had a better chance of it than those old guys who just stood there. Squirrels aren’t tame. They’re wild, and twitchy, and suspicious. They’re not going to walk over to you, extend a paw, and say, “What’s up, buddy? Let’s grab a Coke Zero and some Funyuns at the clubhouse.”

If you want to catch a squirrel, you have to chase it.

And while you’re chasing it, people are going to look at you like you’re crazy. They’re going to wonder what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, and tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t-

“They’re too fast!”

“You look stupid!”

“It’ll give you rabies!”

Don’t listen to them. If they want to play it safe, and just smoke cigars and stay in the fairway, that’s fine. Let them play their round how they want to.

But if you want to chase a squirrel, you do it. Because one day, you just might catch one, and then you’re gonna have one of the best stories ever to tell at parties.